It was a beautiful spring day (finally). The sky was an amazing shade of blue with
huge puffy white clouds. The grass was rippling
in the breeze. Yes, one of those days
that made you glad to be alive…
The Boss decided it was time to put the sheep on “Raspberry
Hill” to harvest the grass. You see,
it’s a symbiotic relationship…this farming thing. We need the grass mowed and the sheep need to
eat. When it works, it is a thing of
beauty. We had just gotten a brand-new
roll of electro-net for fencing, so paddock set up was going to be a breeze.
(someday I will detail my love-hate relationship with electo-net…)
When I opened the gate, the sheep poured through. They seemed overwhelmed…which good stuff to
eat first? (I suppose I should qualify
here…”raspberry hill” hasn’t had a raspberry in quite a few years…but, the name
stuck and we understand where the sheep are by the name…) But, this…this is what Spring on the farm
should look like.
All went well until…(you knew that was coming, didn’t you?)
it was time to bring the sheep back to the barn. Until the lambs are weaned, the sheep cannot
simply STAY out in the paddocks. The lambs need access to the creep feeder at
all times. Access to the creep feeder
means access to the barnyard. Access to
the barnyard means keeping the alley open.
Keeping the alley opened means that the sheep go back and forth past the
precious hoophouse crops many times during the day. That makes the Boss REALLY nervous! For now,
we are playing “musical paddocks” in the afternoon and limiting the access to
the back paddocks. This should not, and
I repeat…should NOT be a big deal.
But…we are dealing with sheep. The lambs in particular are somewhat
deficient in their reasoning capabilities…
This particular paddock has a little section that comes down
toward the hoophouses where the grass is lush and beautiful and it would be a horrible
shame to waste it.The ewes know the drill, so we were certain they would go through the gate and not the net. But, the Boss worried that the lambs would flip out and come
through the net in search of a shortcut to the barn. I shared his concern and
made my plans. I crept down to the barn,
hoping that my silence would allow me to put out the feed, walk out to the
paddock and lead the flock to the barn. This was not to be. Apparently, one of the ewes possesses a
super-hero kind of power….she knows when I am going to the barn (before I do)
AND she can hear a grain of corn/oats fall into the bucket. I have yet to ascertain which one possesses
these amazing abilities. However, she alerted all the others and chaos ensued. As I dumped the feed in the feeders, the flock
came thundering, screaming down the alley…
…except for the “gang of stupidity”…
The “gang of stupidity” consists of 3 to 8 lambs who
invariably go the wrong way, get lost, get stuck, and/or make my shepherding
duties a general pain in the …
Their leader is Habeebibeebi...…who has developed this horrific voice that could possibly wake the dead. When she is frightened, she screams, not
bleats, not baas….screams. The sound indicates that she is being throttled,
ripped limb from limb AND fleeing attack from Sasquatch all at the same
time. I have gone running out into the
darkness numerous times to find her just standing there, looking for her mother
and screaming. ARGH!
There they were, running around in circles, screaming out
what little bits of brains they may possess. I admit it…I swore under my breath
as I dashed out the barn door. I really
didn’t need them tearing down the fence the Boss had just put up, or eating all
those crops we have growing in the hoophouses and gardens. Even more, I REAALLLLLY didn’t want to chase
lambs all over the farm.
I took the feed bucket along, hoping against hope that they
would follow it. I was working against
the clock here; as soon as those ewes finished the grain…they were going to be
off to those green pastures…
I used the bucket to push down the electro-net, so I could
hop over since I hadn’t turned off the “juice”.
I banged the bucket, called “sheep” and waited…they looked at me.
I tried again…this time they exchanged glances as if to say
“I dunno…whatcha think SHE wants?”
Since leading them was not going to work, I quickly decided
I would have to herd them. Herding prey
animals is all about working the angles.
If you push (approach) from the right angle, the flock will head in a
certain direction. If you push harder,
they will move faster. Working by
yourself can make this tricky, but I have done it countless times, and with the
woven wire fence running along one side of the paddock…it should be a
breeze. Push them up along the fence,
they’ll see the gate opening, go through and run to the barn. Right?
Wrong. When I went to
push, I set the bucket down in the middle of the paddock. My intent was to keep them from running
beyond me into the upper portion of the paddock and around all the edges. We would end up doing a ring-around-the-rosie
thing. They headed up the hill…saw the
bucket and panicked. Ordinarily they are all trying to get the tasty tidbits from
the bucket, but I suppose it looked strange in this environment. They ran back to their little corner. I could see the ewes finishing up and
beginning to head back out…
“oh, come on guys….”
I began the push again. (after moving the bucket). The angle was right, the lambs moved up the
fenceline…they found the gate…they ran through…HOORA…
Wait a minute! WHAT
is this wether lamb still doing in the paddock?
Somehow, he missed the cue…there he was, back in the corner,
screaming with all his might. He tried
to go after his buddies and hit the woven wire.
BOING! BAAA! He tried again.
After the third BOING! BAA! sequence, he turned the other way toward the
electro-net. This was exactly what the
Boss had been trying to avoid. The lamb
nosed the net “BAAA-AAA!” That shock on the nose hurt! He ran the other direction…finally heading up
the hill.
By this point, time was getting short…here come the ewes…
YAY! He ran through
the gate. I stopped to latch it. No
point in going through THAT again. When
I looked up, he hadn’t turned left to join the other sheep. No..he turned right and headed for the far
point of the farm, BAAAA-ing all the way.
It was then I found myself on the high point of the farm,
saying in my best “Chandler Bing” voice (remember the show “Friends”?) “Could
you BE any stupider?” before trudging
after him, feed bucket in hand. He made it to the far corner…
This was getting ridiculous!
I got him turned toward the barn, but all his screaming alerted the ram
to sheep in his general vicinity, and he began running around and hollering as
well. The lamb saw another sheep and
attempted to go through the wire that way.
There are 4 or 5 electrified strands separating the paddocks out back. The ram and lamb had a number of paddocks
between them, but apparently sheep can’t count and have little or no depth
perception or sense of distance. Lamb
hit the electric strand, shocked his nose (again) and ran a little further down
the fenceline before trying again. (mentally, I am seeing myself making the
M’brook “news” once again…)
Finally, he made the turn!
As he entered the alley from one direction…the ewes were coming from the
other direction. Now I had to hurry! With
all of them following, I made my way to the barn…locked the back gate and
turned them out front.
There was much complaining among the flock, but they seemed
to settle down fairly quickly, the excitement of the afternoon a forgotten
thing.
Until, of course, the following afternoon when the “gang of
stupidity” once again found themselves separated from everyone else. This time the herding worked and they went to
the barn as a cohesive group.
But, by day three on this venture…they were STILL getting separated…causing
me to do the “Chandler Bing” thing to the whole flock.
Seriously…..could you BE any stupider?
…only to realize I
was indeed talking out loud to the sheep.
Hmm, perhaps I should re-direct
the question!
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