It’s been a hard week on the hill…
I hesitated to write those words. I really did. Because writers
are supposed to write for their readers, consider them with every word. And, it
seems like I have written about the hard-ness of life a lot lately. Honestly, I
envision someone somewhere reading that and thinking, “Again? isn’t that all she
ever says? “geez, she must think everything is hard”…or “hard? She thinks
that’s hard?” I don’t want to put out a whiny, feeling sorry for myself vibe.
Spring is finally coming to the Valley |
You have to believe me that I long for those “green pastures”
and “still waters” of Psalm 23. I'd love to tell you nothing but success stories with happy endings. But, that doesn’t seem to be how life has been going for quite some time now. I'm not making the news here, I'm just reporting...
When I started the farm blog, it was to share the actual experiences of our small farm. I
wrote so others could see the good, the bad, and the ugly of making your life
in small-scale agriculture. To make some sort of connection between rural and
urban. There have been great successes and dismal failures. And, a whole lot of
the same old, same old. It is entirely possible that I have used the words “meh”
and hard far too often. Maintaining livestock, tending gardens and promoting
the products can be a grueling monotony. Throw in a few life-altering
experiences, normal aging and just the passage of time and well, it gets…plain old hard.
signs of Spring in the Valley |
So, bear with me…I’m looking for the positives and hoping
this all gets better…
At least I think I have identified what makes it so hard.
It’s that feeling that we have no
control. That Life is just going to happen, and our wants and desires have no
real effect on anything. Sometimes it feels like we’re…I’m…just hanging on by
my fingernails. We're at the mercy of the weather, market trends, other people's lack of consideration/ethics, pests, disease, the list of variables seems endless. I’ve read all about positive thinking and the Laws of Attraction,
manifest destiny and God’s perfect will. But, from my vantage point none of it
seems to make any sense sometimes. And, not to belabor the point... it is just plain hard.
I would like to just once make a plan, work the plan, note
the successful completion of the plan and head off to something else. But, it’s
been one of those weeks where I wonder WHY we even attempt to plan anything. I
would just throw my hands up in despair and just let the chips fall where they
may. But, I can’t shake that Biblical reference “where there is no vision the
people perish” (Proverbs 29:18) and even Toby Keith says “if you don’t know where
you’re going, you might end somewhere else.” And, while I realize that my
thought processes sound like an eclectic mess at best, everything seems to
indicate that plans are good. Even when everything seems to go awry.
This week was a good example of that.
Happy 30 T-bone! |
Sunday’s birthday party plans were affected by volatile
weather. Ever since the Derecho, those images of big thunderstorms with high
winds freak me out a little. And, then to see our little village in the TORNADO
WARNING zone was scary. Knowing the kids and grandkids were on the road was
even more frightening.
big storm comin' |
It seems wrong to rejoice that everything on the hill
remained unscathed (and the kids are fine) by the wind and rain when others were
devastated by a tornado and flooding. When you live at the top of the hill, 3.25
inches of rain just makes for general sloppiness, not danger.
wet farm dog |
some of the potatoes washed right out of the ground! |
Since it was going to be super-wet on Monday, we put off the
first broiler processing of the year. But, then Tuesday was too windy. (not a
little breeze…gale-force winds---the kind that always seem to follow precipitation)
You know it's windy when the birds have a hard time staying in the trees! |
Okay…so, Wednesday it is.
well, HELLO, little chick! |
But, Wednesday was also chick-delivery day. That meant a trip
to the Staunton Post Office before we got started. Although that worked out,
too…because the morning was frosty COLD. (I can assure you that processing
chickens with near-freezing fingers is not fun)
the first broiler of the year We sold well over 50 pounds of chicken at Market! |
The rest of the week seemed to have a mind of its own. The
continued cold weather and sustained winds made it impractical to do any
planting. So, there is essentially nothing in the garden/hoophouses. The Boss did finally get the sheep out on pasture. That was a good
thing…we have a half a bale of hay left.
putting up electro-net fence |
early morning grazing |
one sick sheep (she's been treated and seems to have recovered) |
"Supper-time!" |
Concerns about a feverish grandson caused a change in plans for a weekend family
get-together.
And then…there was the almost unbelievable news…
Got
the news on Friday mornin'
But a tear I couldn't find (honestly, I haven’t stopped crying)
You showed me how I'm supposed to live
And now you showed me how to die
But a tear I couldn't find (honestly, I haven’t stopped crying)
You showed me how I'm supposed to live
And now you showed me how to die
On Friday our dear Bonnie was called to Heaven. Read. Words fail to convey the sense of loss I feel. And, judging by the countless posts
from family members and friends, I am not alone in my grief.
Bonnie and great-grandson at the Market Summer 2015 |
You couldn’t meet Bonnie and not see LOVE in action. Knowing
Bonnie changed my life. (I’ll tell you about that some other time)
So, right now, I am sad…so very sad. Life seems very hard. Borrowing words from Toby Keith (again), “I’m not crying
‘cause I feel so sorry for you…I’m cryin’ for me!” (watch/listen here)
But, despite our sense of loss, Life goes on.
frost and 34* April 21, 2018 |
Saturday, it was off to the Market as usual. Things got off
to a chilly start with temperatures in the mid-30s and a heavy frost. Things
warmed up…the people came…and all in all, it was a successful day.
You can see the Boss’ photos on Facebook and/or Flicker
There were lots of other things I planned on writing about
today. But, for now, I just want to say…
I hope you have a Happy
Sunday!
Hug your dear ones
and make sure you say “I LOVE YOU” every chance
you get.
And, above all…be
kind. (Bonnie was)
My dear, dear Barbara. I send you my love. It was her time and when that time comes there is nothing we can do but weep and then remember them and the love that they gave to us.
ReplyDeleteOh, thank you, Pat!
DeleteTHANK YOU
So, so sorry for your loss. Prayers and hugs your way. I hate the struggles you have had this year and now this. :( Hopefully there is a bright spot in there. Looks like a fun birthday cake in spite of the dang weather!
ReplyDeleteThe weather has been crazy everywhere it seems, this year.
prayers for healing....xo
Thanks for the kind words, Barbara.
DeleteI truly appreciate your concern.
I'm hoping that some calm is coming, both in the weather and in the rest of life.
Hoping things are well with you.
Much love...
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ReplyDelete